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Back to fish school....baitfish 101 - fishing

 

Class Is In Session. . . . Baitfish 101

Okay.

So you would think that in this in sequence age we fishermen and fisherwomen would have all the acquaintance of baitfishing at our fingertips.

Evidently, some of us have been slow to enter this in rank age, so as a community advantage I am going to pass along some fairly "common sense" in a row that deceptively isn't being absorbed by the fishing world.

This in rank is being sent, with the hope that if 200 associates read this condition and then they tell 200 associates and so on and so forth,maybe, just maybe adequate ancestors will get the message.

I have enlisted Professor R. O. Tenone, the famed authority on accepted fish carnage, to defend the use of "live baitfish" and it's air on lakes and rivers. We join the professor in progress on his lecture. . . . .

. . . . . . . "Zo class, as you can zee ze Goldfish, why building a very nice pet for ze vindowzil and bringing zmiles to zee faces of zee many kids, makes a very poor array when uzing it azz bait for contagious zee big one!"

"Vy you ask?"

"Vell, if zee Goldfish zhould ezcape zee charge of zee hook--zen der iz good ability he vill zurvive to dezzimate zee fishery he haz been on the loose into!"

"Are zer any qvestions?"

"Yez--you zer vit zee plaid hat. "

"Professor, why are we chatting about Goldfish? Are you essentially effective us that ancestors are using Goldfish as bait to catch fish?"

"Abzolutely. Goldfish, Chubbs,and Zquawfish are all ze prime examples of live baitfish that have crooked vhat vas once prime trout vaters into vatery vastelands devoid of any vorthvhile fish. "

"That's a lot of 'V's' professor.

"Zat's not zee point. "

"Zee point izz, ruining zee fishing of an complete lake just zo one characteristic can "hang zee big von" zeems a barely zelfish--NOOO?"

"No--I mean yes--I mean is this a real problem?"

"Vell, I did not befit zee practiced on fish bloodshed vithout having first hand knowledge. "

"Oh, yeah--your the guy that has to use that artless "toxic to fish" poison that kills off all the fish in a lake so they can re-plant fish, so fishermen can fish for trout or a bit other than trashfish. "

"In zee be of importance of zpeaking. "

"I don't conzider any fish trash, but I don't zink it is biological to have zee giant Koi pond out in zee vild either. "

"Vhat--I mean What can we do?"

"Vell, first ve must educate zee fisherman zat zees fish are no good to use azz bait. Zpread zee vord in all zee fishing circles you know, vorms are o. k. ,Rapalas vork vell,and of course of action zee flys, but no Goldfish!"

"I don't know professor, seems like a appealing frightening task. "

"Fine, azz long azz you feel comfortable looking at zee grown men ztanding on zee cover of zee magazine land zee mighty Goldfish--zen it iz o. k. vit me. "

"I guess that isn't very impressive. "

"In zee conclusion, I am going to give zee link to zee story I read zat made me give zis class"

"Remember class, if zey have to call me--zen it is too late, and you know who pays ven Professor R. O. Tenone has to show up?"

"Uhhh, . . . let me see. . . . uhhh. . . the taxpayers?"

"Class dizmizzed. "

the link to the story on Goldfish: http://www. mailtribune. com/outdoor/

A. J. Klott
Author, author of fishing humor,and "fly tack" peddler. A. J. writes about the people,characters and current day measures that surround the fishing world. His first book is due out in December of 2005. If you need a laugh or a fun gift, visit his website at: http://www. twoguyswithflys. com


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Those dang fish must be prejudiced!  San Diego Jewish World

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